I’m Just a Boy Saying No Means No

Last night, I caught The Break Up on TBS and watched it because I hadn’t seen it before, and I knew Jenn Anniston and Vince Vaughn didn’t end up together in the end. Consensus? Annoying in parts, but altogether, a sense of reality in it that I appreciated. Then I started thinking through what other films didn’t end up with the couple getting together. The all-too-familiar (500) Days of SummerMy Best Friend’s Wedding. Up in the Air. A Google search later, I then recalled The Time Traveler’s Wife (separation by time travel), Titanic (death by a really big boat sinking), Nights in Rodanthe (separation by death – thanks once again, Nicholas Sparks), The Bourne Supremacy (separation by murder), or even Batman Begins or the first of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man (separation by a “higher calling” – I always laughed at the end when Spiderman refused Mary-Jane. I know, what’s wrong with me?).

And then I thought, hey, what if we could mess with the endings of those movies with the happily-ever-afters, and make them not happily-ever-after? Are there films that would be better off where the guy and girl didn’t get together? I think so. Here’s a list of movies with couples that I would not let them end up together, whether it’s just for kicks and giggles, or because I never would have put those two people together in the first place.

Eddie and Paige in The Prince and Me

Eddie (Luke Mably) and Paige (Julia Stiles) were never meant to be together. One was meant to run a country, the other was meant for higher education. There never should have been a second and third sequel to this film, with the main roles getting changed out each time. The idea was simple and sweet enough in the beginning, but having a future king of a country return to the states and let a girl know that he’ll wait “however long it takes,” just isn’t realistic, much less workable. Talk about pressure on the girl!

Aragorn and Arwen in The Return of the King

I wish that Aragorn (Viggo Mortenson) would have directed the words “I cannot give you what you seek” to Arwen (Liv Tyler) and not to Eowyn (Miranda Otto). I have yet to finish reading The Return of the King, but from a movie viewer perspective, I would have rather cheered on Aragorn kissing Eowyn in the end than Arwen. Both Eowyn and Aragorn have that whole fighting warrior thing down, and they definitely have an immediate chemistry when they meet.

Bryan and Annie in Father of the Bride

I’m on the dad’s side (Steve Martin) from the beginning. Although Annie (Kimberly Williams-Paisely) getting engaged to Bryan (George Newbern) and planning a crazy wedding makes for an interesting premise, in the end, I rather have seen Bryan be sent on his way than sadly watching George struggle to share a moment with Annie after the wedding. Any guy who starts putting his hand on a girl’s leg in front of her father the first time he meets him isn’t classy or smart.

Henry and Danielle in Ever After

This is more for comical reasons than any other. So Danielle’s (Drew Barrymore) a liar and Henry’s (Dougray Scott) a jerk. The two have flaws, but seemingly are perfect for each other. But what would have happened had Henry chosen Marguerite over Danielle? I could imagine the film ending with rain lightly tapping the glass slipper, the camera zooming out, and the step-mother (Anjelica Huston) laughing manically in the background. You have to admit you’re curious now, right?

William and Anna in Notting Hill

And now the title of this post becomes relevant. The titular line in Notting Hill is told by Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) to William (Hugh Grant): “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” What if William’s response was, “Well I’m just a boy, and no means no.” A little harsh, sure, but then again, to reject that line altogether–and spoken by the most famous movie star at the time–was a little harsh. I appreciated the idea of a normal person rejecting a movie star. It made sense. But then again, he showed a more human element of himself when he begged to have her back.

Jake and Melanie in Sweet Home Alabama

This choice may really make people mad. Frankly, I’m OK with the movie’s ending. I mean, if had to choose between Patrick Dempsey and Josh Lucas, I would struggle too. I get it, two people reconnected through the South and family and life. But what about poor Andrew (Patrick Dempsey)? He didn’t do anything wrong, yet he gets rejected in the end. Melanie (Reese Witherspoon) accepted his proposal! It’s like watching an episode of The Bachelorette, and Melanie changing her mind after the final rose.

OK, I’m fresh out of ideas. Your turn – who would you have liked to see break up, or never end up together? Or how about the reverse – was there ever a couple you wish would have gotten together in the end?  Sound off in the comments.