The 5 Worst Movies I Saw in 2011

While unfortunately, I can’t include the latest Twilight, Nic Cage’s most recent debacle Trespass, or the Adam Sandler slip-up Jack and Jill because I didn’t bother seeing any one of those, there were five shining, terrible gems that worked hard to make this list.

5. Abduction/ The Hangover Pt. 2

Two movies tie for this spot because while both had their entertaining moments, both were pretty bad. Abduction had as many laughable moments as the second Hangover, while Taylor Lautner tried far too hard to be a young Jason Bourne. I will admit that some of the fight sequences were impressive on Lautner’s end, but between the over-dramatic dialogue and failed attempt to issue a sort of suspense that wasn’t quickly followed by a laugh, the script, Lautner, and the poorly used supporting cast made this movie all the more a mess and even painful to watch at times.

The Hangover Pt. 2 reigns as the biggest disappointment for a sequel for me.  Director Todd Philips took the formula that made the original a great hit and decided to repeat it action for action rather than employ any form of originality in this movie. For having such a hilarious leading cast under his belt, Philips really blew this great opportunity to make a hilarious sequel.

4) Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher was just a bad movie. It’s a great example of how to bring movie-goers in on opening weekend, and then allow bad word-of-mouth to drive any other potential viewers away. From the looks of the trailer, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, and Cameron Diaz were going to make us crack up throughout the movie. I can’t recall laughing one time the entire movie. Every one of Segel’s few scenes were shown in the trailer, leaving no possibility of surprise or laughs. Diaz played an entirely unlikable character that never felt like bringing you over to her side the entirety of the movie.

3) Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I'm as scared as Shia in this picture.

This was the movie I wasted the most money on in 2011. Michael Bay successfully made one of the worst movies of the year without batting an eye. Shia Labeouf must have been coming off his latest run-in with the police or argument with a random bar-hopper, because his bad attitude was the only visible emotion he displayed on screen throughout the long, laborious three hour-length movie–1 1/2 hours too long. Then, in steps Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria’s Secret model that has never acted before, and lets us know within five minutes that that‘s the case. I had to even laugh at Bay’s attempt at jabbing Megan Fox with a line from one of the characters that was something like, “I HATED your old girlfriend. She’s so *insert negative remark here*. Scene after scene of unexplained phenomena continued while I stepped out of the theater to get a break from the madness and go to the bathroom.

2) The Green Hornet

Luckily, the movie theater’s credit card machines were down and I was able to see this movie for free, because only my time was wasted in this case. Perhaps some of the failure of this movie is due to it not finding it’s direction under Marvel, which has made many successful action/superhero movies. Seth Rogen blows in this movie more than other flops he has turned in year after year. Christopher Waltz fills the role of the worst villain I have ever seen in a movie. I have no clue what Cameron Diaz was doing in this movie, because she didn’t fit at all, and the bromanship between Rogen and Jay Chou quickly plummeted as they both attempted to over-induce the audience with their version of being dramatic. James Franco made an odd, but interesting cameo in the beginning, and he is the luckiest of them all because he got killed off so early. I wish Rogen and Chou would have followed in his footsteps, or better yet, not made this horrible movie.

1) Beastly

Beastly holds the number spot for worst movie I saw in 2011, because I couldn’t think of any other movie that was as bad as this one. There are so many problems with this movie, I don’t even know where to begin. Writer-director Daniel Barnz wrote one of the worst screenplays to make it on the big screen. It has to be the poorest attempt at taking a story/movie gem like Beauty and the Beast and trying to make a spiff off it. While Vanessa Hudgens could be a believable Beauty, every last one of her lines were oozing with sap, refusing to let her portray a normal, actual person who talks like a normal, actual person. Alex Pettyfer plays the “beast” character, that instead of losing his six-pack, gains a new set of tattoos and goes bald. “Pretty gruesome,” his character refers to his new look, but Hudgens declares that she’s seen worse, and now we all know that somehow in this pile of sloppy, self-indulgent, pretentious script, Beauty will wind up with the Beast. Which leads me to question many of the movie’s plotholes: Why would her father allow a complete stranger to hole her up in a house? Why does Pettyfer think gifts such as a designer purse  or wearing a mask will “woo” a girl downstairs? Which leads me to the biggest question of sorts, why did I sit through this entire movie? Or even more so, how did I not vomit throughout the movie?

What were the worst movies you saw in 2011? Did you like any of the ones that I couldn’t stand, or would you put them on your worst list too?

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2012: A Peak for Film Series?

The year 2012 holds possibly some of the greatest film conclusions and beginnings of series (and then a few more . . . ) that have not only your typical fanboy jumping with excitement, but your average theater attender as well. Now, I will not be including Scary Movie 5 or Men in Black 3 (sorry Anna Faris and Will Smith) in this post, but that doesn’t mean I’m heartless. If anything, I shouldn’t be including the Twilight movie, but I think it’s too anticipated for me to leave it out.

Let’s start with the epic conclusions:

1) The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises

Perhaps the most anticipated film of 2012, Christopher Nolan plans to wrap up his Batman trilogy in July of next summer. Already photos, videos, a teaser trailer, and various rumors have leaked from all the proper channels, just fueling the fire of what Nolan fans expect to be better than The Dark Knight, a film considered one of the most remarkable and best of this generation. He has the same crew and a few new faces. The big question is . . . will The Dark Knight Rises live up to the impossible expectations of viewers, or will it *just* miss the mark and be considered the film that couldn’t? Being a Nolan fan myself, I have high hopes, but I’m afraid all this pre-excitement feels dazzling for now, but will continue to build until there is no momentum left. Let’s hope the pressure doesn’t get to him and he delivers an even more epic film than the previous Dark Knight.

2) The Hobbit

If I were to get technical, The Hobbit would actually be a pre-sequel, opening a slot for it in the “beginning series,” but since Peter Jackson has already given everyone three fantastic Lord of the Rings films, The Hobbit actually places fourth in that line, making it the last. Tearing out a page from the X-Men series playbook, and following suite via J.R.R. Tolkein’s intended order for the series (he first wrote Lord of the Rings, and then later penned The Hobbit), Jackson expectedly unexpectedly is directing this epic beginning end film. He’s been posting production videos to his Facebook page, only egging on the film geeks that will watch anything LOTR they can click their mouses on.

3) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II (can this title be any longer?)

Stop with the Twilight!

Unfortunately for any Twilight fans reading this (are there any . . . ?), I don’t have much to say about this film because the only one in the series I ever saw was the first one, which was a big disappointment for me with all the uproar of how fantastic the series supposedly was. I agree – it’s just my opinion, but even a fan would have to admit that the overexposure of Bella, Edward, and Jacob marketing is driving even proud fans into dark corners to hide their embarrassment over liking the series. Perhaps Stephanie Meyers really had something special, but what could have been something worthwhile got destroyed when it went viral. The nation’s critics never gave any one of the films in the series an overall positive rating. And don’t even get me started with the Harry Potter comparisons (you should know where my allegiances lie, anyway!). Anyways, I know I should include some kind of information about this film, but the only knowledge I really have to offer is that this is the final film in the series. After mimicking Harry Potter‘s successful technique of dividing the final book of the series into two films, the second installment of Breaking Dawn will be hitting theaters mid-November next year. Personally, I look forward to the end of it so I can finally stop hearing about it (I can imagine Taylor Lautner has similar sentiments). I digress.

OK, let’s hit up the beginnings now:

1) The Avengers

If you saw Captain America and then waited through the end credits, you were probably one of the first to see the teaser for the upcoming Avengers flick, due to be released in May of next year. Since then, posters and a fuller trailer mainly focusing on Robert Downy Jr.’s humor, have been released online. This year we got to see Thor and Captain America, and last year we got to see the second installment of Iron Man. Now we get to see all three grace the screen with an additional Mark Ruffalo taking a swing at playing The Hulk (not that we’re going to miss Edward Norton . . . ), along with Jeremy Renner playing Hawkeye, Scarlett Johansson playing Black Widow (remember her from Iron Man?), and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. This should be a pretty epic cast lead by none other than Mr. Joss Whedon, who has a big enough fanbase of his own to bring in viewers.

2) The Revamped (“Amazing”)  Spiderman

The Amazing Spiderman

This decision to already redesign Spiderman has divided fans . . . loyalists cling to Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire while the newer, younger generation who worship Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield and were blown away by The Social Network are opening their minds to this new possibility. Especially since fanboys claimed the previous unfinished trilogy messed up the “true” story of Peter Parker’s love life (Spiderman wasn’t always in love with the slutty version of Mary-Jane Watson from the previous series?!), they believe Marc Webb, the ironically named director, will be able to make things right this time around.

3) The Hunger Games

I personally have a lot wearing on this first movie. I read the trilogy this summer and fell in love with Katniss, Peeta, and the world of Panem. But after the out-of-control marketing that spawned from the dreaded Twilight series, I feel a sense of nervousness that The Hunger Games might try to follow in Bella and Edward’s shoes. Between Winter’s Bone, the X-Men prequel, and a few other small roles, I believe in Jennifer Lawrence’s acting ability, but this new taste for over-marketing, tween obsession with fictional book trilogies turned film series has even me concerned for the overall appearance and direction that Ross might take the series. He’s made some gems in the past (Dave, Big), but I hope that in the end that the green isn’t the only reason this film series may become successful. Plus, Lawrence seems capable of taking a photo that doesn’t make her appear angry at the world or high or both simultaneously (Kristen Stewart, anyone?). So that’s a good start, right?

4) Superman: Man of Steel

Not much information has been floating around regarding this film, more than likely because of all the epic film conclusions/beginnings preceding it (just re-read this post if you’re confused). But the information we do have access to is that Jonathan Nolan, Christopher’s brother, will be directing, and that Henry Cavill and Amy Adams will be starring. I’m trying as hard as possible to not have some kind of vendetta against JNolan for casting Adams, a redhead, as Lois Lane (PLEASE DYE HER HAIR!?), but I’m finding it difficult. Since her role in The Fighter, Adams has proven that she can effectively play an edgy character. But that doesn’t mean she’s a great fit for Lois Lane. Personally, I find it difficult to imagine the Enchanted princess to properly fill the sassy character’s shoes without looking completely out of place, but any hope lies in that a Nolan is directing the film.